How to deal with toddler tantrums? That’s the question of the ages, isn’t it? My child’s first public tantrum was at the post office on his second birthday. I remember it well because it was so stereo typical. It was almost as if he wanted to be a statistic; terrible twos, here we come. However, you don’t have to just sit back and take it. Dealing with the terrible twos will take patience and time, but you can break them of these toddler screaming tantrums. Here are a few tips on how to deal with toddler tantrums.
The Ability to Ignore it
This is a real practiced art. Trying to ignore your child when they are having a tantrum takes a lot of strength. You’ll have to practice it at home and make sure that you are going to be able to do it in public. The problem is that as parents, we get so embarrassed when our kids are throwing tantrums and just want to make it stop. However, this is dangerous because the ‘just wanting it to stop’ encourages giving them the item they are throwing a tantrum over, which shows them that throwing tantrums works. This is not how to deal with toddler tantrums. If you are going to ignore the tantrum, you have to do it all the time and stick it out til the end so that your child begins to learn that they will never get what they want from throwing a tantrum.
The Benefit of Good Behavior
In conjunction with that, you could begin to reward good behavior and show them how much better it is if they listen and obey and behave. Carrying around snacks that they enjoy or letting them pick out a new toy after they have been good or listened to you is a great way to show them that behaving will get them what they want faster than throwing a tantrum will. Rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad is also good because sometimes, children act out when they feel they aren’t getting enough attention. If they start to realize that their good behavior awards them more attention, they will begin to switch their actions.
The Art of Distraction
If you absolutely cannot ignore tantrums, then maybe using distraction techniques is a better option for you. You still do not want to give your child what they are throwing a tantrum over, but you could distract them with something else that they like. Once they have calmed down, you could give them the original item in order to show them that when they are crying and kicking and screaming you aren’t going to give them what they want. However, when they are calm, collected and in a good mood, you are much more likely to give them what they wanted in the first place.
The Threat of Discipline
The threat of discipline will only work if you follow through in the beginning. Whatever form of discipline you choose to use, the toddler should not like it. Whether it’s having beloved toys taken away, spankings or time out, the child need to feel consequences for his or her actions. If you do not show them that there are consequences for foolish decisions now, when they are little, they are going to learn it out in the world when they are older and this will be a much harsher lesson to learn. Teach them now while you can protect them and keep them sheltered and save.
The Importance of Winning
This might sound elementary but it’s important that you, as the parent, win the tantrum. Toddlers are patient souls when it comes to disobeying their parents. You have to be more patient, more consistent and stronger than they during this time.
Knowing how to deal with toddler tantrums is all about a delicate balance. They need to feel how tantrums separate them from you. No matter what you think right now, your toddler does love you and wants your attention and care. If you take that away from them when they are misbehaving, then they will start to learn that the tantrums aren’t getting them what they want and they are making you go away, which they don’t want.
